Sarah over at The Parenting Trials was lovely enough to tag me in a post where I write about the ways in which I’m #RockingMotherhood.
I really do wonder sometimes, as I’m sure plenty of other Mum’s do too if I really am rocking motherhood!! I mean, I’m not a planner and I suppose I kind of wing it! What’s the real point in planning how to parent when really it’s all just one big surprise! You never know with parenting what exactly is going to come your way do you? I mean yes, I have my priorities on what I find more important; clothing him, feeding him and loving him – all obvious (you’d hope) but what is really important to me, and maybe a little old school, are things such as manners, being kind, honest and having the ability to see when someone else needs you – sensitivity and respect I suppose.
Thinking about my son Coby, I really believe that these priorities show in the way he acts and composes himself. Yes he is a typical boy – loud, full of energy, hates being clean… but he is also very caring when needs be, always says ‘Please may I…” and “Thank you”. Of course he has his moments where he doesn’t want to share his things (a tiny bit of single-child syndrome I think) but once I’ve shot him that Mum stare – you know the one I mean – he’ll correct himself.
So here goes, 10 reasons why I think I #rockmotherhood.
Yes, he was planned. No, I didn’t have any clue what to expect – but I threw myself into it. Even though the labour was absolute hell the moment he looked at me I was smitten – quite strangely writing this I just welled up a little – emotional or what!! It was really tough though, I’d moved from York to Wokingham and knew no-one. Coby saved me! Sounds dramatic right, but he did. I instantly loved being a Mum, I ‘rocked’ the baby years.
He was healthy, happy, did everything that the ‘red book’ said he should be doing and I was the one helping him to grow. I didn’t care about going out with my friends, shopping or doing the things that my friends from home were doing, Coby was my life… my little… actually I can’t call a 9 pounder little can I? …my chunky cute ball of happiness – I contributed to that!
A very good friend said this to me once about me when Coby was around 4/5 years old and it didn’t leave my mind. I always remember it for some reason. She said that she admired that I didn’t moan about how hard it was (even if I was struggling – we all do). I guess I just knew it was all part of it, that everything is always OK in the end. I was ‘rocking’ the chilled-out parent mode a lot!
Can’t… actually…believe…I… just wrote that! What I mean is that because I’m a young(ish) parent and still into fashion and latest trends myself, I’m massively on board with Coby having the coolest trainers or the latest hoodie and we’ll sit down and check out things together. I helped him set up his own YouTube channel – still trying to get my hand around the fact he beat me to it – but I love that I was able to help him do all that and I’m really proud of him.
We go on some amazing holidays! As I child I didn’t get to travel too often and whilst it didn’t every bother me in any way ,I think travelling can really educate a child and teach them lots of life lessons as well as them seeing and learning about different cultures. We’ve been to lots of brilliant places but I think the best was Mexico in 2016 and having a mini European adventure in 2015 – we went to Berlin, Rome and Lisbon – each one amazing in it’s own way. This year Coby and I are going on our first trip to Dubrovnik on our own for a little Mum & son time, and we are going on a random cooking course together – he loves to help me cook so I’m training him now… 😉
Last year (Year 6 for Coby) Coby really struggled, more particularly with Maths and he didn’t quite gel with his teacher so when he started senior school this year I booked him a tutor. Clare comes to our house every Monday evening and sits with him for 90 minutes. Four months down the line Coby is flying ahead with his Maths skills. I really wanted to give him the best resources out there to help him at school but also to help his confidence and it worked.
I love him with all of my heart and I tell him every day! I really don’t want to embarrass Coby too much (he is nearly 12) but we still have a cuddle and a kiss every night before he goes to sleep! If he’s been in trouble with me I always sort it before he sleeps and we ‘make-up’. I myself can’t bear to fall asleep on an argument and it stresses me out so much and I think he’d be the same.
He also knows he can, and he does, talk to me about things that are bothering him or that he just doesn’t get. Most of the time we can figure it out together. I asked Coby what he he thought I was good at when it comes to being a Mum and he said “just how much you love me’… that’s all I needed to hear, I’ll take that.
Coby is pretty cool with the fact I work a lot, he totally gets it. So when the opportunity is there to have fun together we will. Going out attempting to fly his drone at the local park, going to cinema together or to dinner. Sometimes I’ll just go in his room and act like a nutter for ten minutes just to make him laugh and then we’ll take the mickey out of each other. This is my favourite kind of fun, it’s free – its easy – and it means the most. It’s dropping everything else for just 20 minutes of silliness.
I was brought up in a totally different way to Coby when it comes to materialistic things so when it comes to spoiling him I love that I’m now in a position where I’m able to. But, I rarely buy him toys or gifts unless it’s Christmas or his birthday. Yes we have holidays, days-out and new clothes, but I don’t want him to feel entitled or selfish, nor do I want him to think he can have anything he wants. We have our rules and limits and if he crosses the line there will be consequences of that and I always remind him just how lucky he is.
I’m pretty sure I know Coby better than anyone. From who his best friends are, his favourite foods, games and films and I can tell you now that if you pile his baked beans on top of his toast he’ll have a little brain sulk – he much prefers his toast on the side 😉 I can predict when he needs some time-out to himself and even by his face know that something has upset him – or if he has fibbed about something! I know instantly if he will like something or not and if he is unsure on what to choose I’ll know best what he will like and choose for him. It’s a Mum thing.. I just know this stuff!
I would do anything for Coby, and I mean anything – that’s the ultimate #rockingmotherhood confirmation surely?
The rules are pretty simple: